Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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