the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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