i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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