i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
