the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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