pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
