Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
