Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
