hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
