So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
