And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
