wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
