When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
