Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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