maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
the gays at disneyland are vicious
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
