I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
