She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
