and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
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