Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
