It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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