do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
there's paper in my vomit.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
