I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I believe in your delicious
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
