If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
how drunk are you?
Several
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
