Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
