i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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