you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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