I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
