Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
