anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
But theres a keg here and me gusta
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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