That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
