Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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