I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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