he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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