you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
