U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
