Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
