names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
