I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
