so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
