let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
