bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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