standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
