I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
