so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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