do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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