You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
