Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
it was like eating out sand paper
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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