you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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