toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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