OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Randomize
