Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
