how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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