He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
