I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
