Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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